I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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