she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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