Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
