the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
