Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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