One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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