our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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