It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
