Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
