Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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