HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
