And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
