I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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