I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
