do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
