were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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