Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
how drunk are you?
Several
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
