how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
