not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
