I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
