He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
