apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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