This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
In America we eat man semen.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
