Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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