remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
