he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
