Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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