U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
