Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
