Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
