it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
