No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
