sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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