I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
