why didn't you poke me back
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
