please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
