Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
