At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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