i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
