I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
