I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
