im about as happy as oj after his trial
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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