I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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