I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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