rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
