wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
