I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
