Jerry, you need to find god
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
