I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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