from now on my penis is your penis
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
