he wants to bone in the snuggie
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
